In Search of Nirvana

One Step Closer...

2012-01-29T15:01:00.011+08:00

Most often, girls or women in general get carried away with kilig stuffs and moments. I myself is one of them. I usually fell in this category. Who would not want to have a Mr.Darcy in his clean and lean attire, a romantically looking guy who will utter this heartwarming line. Let alone your heart melt with these words that scan sweep you off your feet.

But eventually I realize that love is such a deep word that even other people find it hard to fathom. Its basic and real essence may often be schemed by infatuation or feelings of just mere attraction. This is where the danger comes in. For the past few years, I have learned a lot from my own pitfalls. In my daily existence, I can say that I have not really opened up my heart to anyone. In some instances, I might have tried but I guess I am really careful in choosing that person. I know I do not have the answers I need right now. Sooner or later, I believe God will reveal him under the right circumstances.

The answers I need seem to be elusive but I know I have guidance. Everything that I have now is simply a preparation for when the time comes that He finally grants this guy I love, I know it is a love that is heavenly blessed. Somewhere in my wildest hopes and bewildered thoughts, my own Mr. Darcy will catch me and take me to an unimaginable place called true love. It is a place in one's heart where I know I am loved dearly and faithfully. It is something I know I have waited all these years which even felt like a weary suffering but just by looking unto his eyes, I feel the sincerity of forever.

Birthday Video

2012-01-24T00:07:00.003+08:00

I created this video for my bestfriend's 24th birthday!

Dynamita VS Pacman

2011-11-15T13:00:00.006+08:00

Last Sunday, I forced myself to wake up early to eat breakfast before watching Pacquiao vs Marquez Trilogy. Among all boxing bouts I have enjoyed watching, I am quite sure that this fight is another record breaking one since I know how Mexicans fight and how Filipinos fights. They fight til the end. It's really a face to face battle in the ring.

I was hoping that I can recover from my disappointment with the previous fight of one of the Philippines' best boxers, Nonito Donaire with the seemingly statue on the ring versus Narvaez.

The undercard matches were good to watch but what I was really eager about was the final match between the two warriors, the two nemesis on the ring. When I heard Maria Aragon sang Lupang Hinirang, the national anthem of the Philippines, I felt my skin having goosebumps all over. It was one of those instances where you just feel the pride of being a Filipino. While the camera zoomed in to the two players I can see the fierce look in Marquez' face. It only showed that he's really determined to bring down Pacquiao. Looking on the other hand was the figure of the champion, pacman in his red and blue attire. I just don't know where I get the feeling that Pacquiao seemed to have lost radiance that night unlike in his other fights where he really looked aggressive. While watching, i was wondering if something was bothering him.

Then the bell rang and the first round of the match started. Clearly, the first round would be on Pacman. Though Marquez was trying to move in and throwing some punches, Pacquiao was the more aggressive one. It was too much for me to expect a knockout for Pacquiao on the 4th or 5th round. I guess I got used to it. But my predictions failed me. 5th,6th, 7th rounds passed and the events suddenly turned its tables. I can see the punches of Marquez going straight to Pacman's face. Holy Crap,I said to myself. Pacman was getting into a big trouble. He might lose this fight. But in the later rounds, Pacquiao came back again throwing deadlier punches at Dynamita.

While waiting for Michael Buffer to announce the winner, I said to myself this could be a split decision in favor of Marquez or a draw.

I was shocked when Pacquiao was announced as the winner via majority decision.
But still I jumped for joy. I am happy that he won. But some people were not.

Then I just suddenly realized, people from afar can judge based on what they see but we have to consider what the judges think. In a boxing match, they follow the so called 10 point rule to be able to win the bout. You either knockdown your opponent on his knees or win the judges scorecards.

In most cases, the defending champion has the advantage.

Some people were doubtful as to whether Pacman really won the bout. I myself was included in that group. But after watching the replay, I summarized the key points of the boxing match:

1. First is that if you are the challenger and you want to defeat the defending champion, you should knockdown the champion and be more dominant in the ring.

2. In terms of the volume of punches, Pacquiao landed more punches that Marquez.

3. Marquez is a good counter puncher but in most round we can see how Pacquiao aggressively initiates throwing power punches.

4. We can have opinions about the fight but we cannot question the decision of the judges. The verdict is final so we just respect that.

5. Pacquiao might have knockdown hall of famer Mexicans in the field of boxing but this will not always happen the way most viewers would often see.

I highly commend Marquez for being an excellent fighter but I still think that he fell short in destroying Pacquiao. Pacman won only by a thin hairline had it not been for the score in the later rounds, he could have lost the fight. In lieu of this, a rematch is possible to answer the questions and doubts of some.

Pacquiao has brought honor and pride to our country. He has opened several opportunities to his fellow boxers. Although I don't idolize him as a politician, I respect him for being one of the best boxers ever lived.

You are So Beautiful

2011-11-11T22:57:00.005+08:00

I super love this drama. Since I am very much inspired to compose a Filipino version of Junsu's song based on the melody and also the Chinese lyrics (though i think my mandarin has a lot of errors sorry about that one ^_^)..

You are so Beautiful by Junsu
Kapag ika'y aking nakkita, biglang napapluha
pag naiisip ko ngayoy akin ka

Sa tuwing ikaw ay aakapin at lalapit sakin
kaligayahang atin doon tau dalhin..

Refrain:
Walang ibang makakahigit sa pagmamahal na bigay mo
Asahan mo, andito ako, hindi magbabago

Chorus: Forever, you are so beautiful
ako ay tunay na mapalad, na katulad
mo ang tanging iibigin ko...
You are so beautiful, pangako ko sayo, ang alay ko
pagibig ko hangang dulo ng mundo, hangang dulo ng mundo

Hindi ako makapniwala na akin pang makkita
ang pagibig n matagal ng nawawala
Sa tuwing ikaw ay aakapin at titingin sa akin
ang syang tangi kong dalangin ngayon akoy dinggin..

Repeat Chorus

每當我看到你，我突然哭了起來。我認為我很高興，現在你是我的。
當我擁抱你，當你靠近我
幸福是我的，一個真正的禮物
有沒有喜歡你的另一, 誰可以這樣愛我
指望我, 我在這裡, 我不會改變

Chorus:
你很美麗
我很幸運
你是唯一的人，我一定會喜歡這種方式
你很美麗
這是我答應你
我唯一可以提供
一個將持續，直到最後的愛

我簡直不能相信，我仍然可以找到一個愛一直缺少.
每當我擁抱你，你看看我。我只是覺得你是我的禱告蒙應允.
有沒有人，我的生活帶來歡樂
只有你，沒有人
現在我唯一的生命
指望我，我會在這裡

Inspired

2011-10-23T17:54:00.005+08:00

Nowadays, I keep on attempting to write things that are beyond my usual theme; something that I haven’t really experienced and just find inspiration to write about it. The theme of the following write up came from another Korean drama I recently watched, the series Lie to Me. i hope you'll get to understand the flow of the story based on my write-up. ;)

I used to be crippled with the catena of lies that surround me. Wanting to just give up, I have never felt like my heart is being slowly crushed into diminutive pieces. I was discreetly mad at the world but I had to make myself believe everything was fine. Generalizing the thought that love is defunct or at least for me was way much logically easier than to keep on struggling with my sentimental being. Back then, believing in that magic was something beyond my comprehension. It was futile, it was cynical.

But just one sunny day, the figure of you suddenly changed the mainstream of my thoughts. You subtly disturbed my emotion’s stillness. Then everything abruptly had a 360 degree turn. There is a part of me who wants to get to know you, to enjoy spending every single moment. Gazing through those eyes makes me just melt inside. Slowly my perspective changes, it begins to drift away from the hurtful past I have always wanted to forsake.

Now, being with you seem like a dream I could only take a glimpse of before. But when I touch you, when I hear you laugh, when I feel my heart palpitates for a while and how you simply titillate my psyche, I could not deny from something I am afraid to want. Yes, you are something I am afraid to want. Fear of almost any possible scenarios have conjured up my mind. Fear that I had felt long ago which turned out to be something dreadful, something that almost destroyed me.

But when you reach out for my hand, those stupid thoughts vanish away into wilderness. Was it my capacity to drop those thoughts or was it your effortless magic? Deep down, I know it was no magic, it is just you, your sincerity, your whole being that assures me you won't let go of my hand. There is no need to hear for any promise because I just know, you'll be there just when I need you.

* I am sharing you one of my favorite tracks in the drama.

A Decade of Friendship

2011-10-21T17:46:00.005+08:00

They say, tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are. The group of people you stay with just reflects the kind of person you are. In my case, I am lucky and proud to have met the most beautiful people I know in this lifetime. Not everyone gets this chance, this rare opportunity to get to meet good friends that you can really hold on to when you are groping in the dark; people whom you can laugh with whenever you make stupid mistakes but never allows you to falter, people who just bring out the best in you yet never impedes your own identity; people who make you laugh when times are just too difficult and people who consider you a real friend and stand by what it truly means.

In my eyes, how do I view my true friends…It is when…

… you can just talk about anything under the sun.
You can talk about the most serious and the most senseless things and can find meaning to it.

… they can scream at you at the top of their lungs for doing idiotic mistakes and yet hug you after a while.
Only genuine friends can tell you things straight in to your eyes without any pretensions.

…you can just be yourself.
There is no need to be someone else, it is just you and the real friendship that you offer.

…you call them in the wee hours of the morning and scold you for doing so yet is so frantically worried.

…you haven’t met for such a long time but when you do, it’s as if you have last seen each other just yesterday.

…they fight for you when even at times you feel too weak to even stand up for yourself.

… they never hide your weaknesses and imperfections but never focus on them.

…they uplift your soul and bring out the best in you

…you just feel loved unconditionally, no ifs, no buts.

This is My New Goal ;)

2011-10-10T00:57:00.001+08:00

I just finished watching the series My Fair LAdy. After hearing jang hyun-sie played piano here..I was like wow.. ;D.. That is my goal for my music hobby. I need to play this piece really soon both in piano and in guitar. ;)

It is now.

2011-10-07T00:17:00.007+08:00

Time is of the essence. It is a major element that not all of us can afford to waste it on senseless things and futile endeavors. Just this day when I heard the news about Steve Job's death, I felt a pinch of sadness. It is not that I am naive whenever death is the topic.Probably, the main reason is that at the back of my mind I was thinking,"He's dead but while he was still alive, he overcame his own difficulties, his personal struggles and he arose,transforming the world.He lived his life everyday as if it were his last.

There is indeed no time to time to go back when you made the wrong choice, or to change the course of events when it is not favoring you. For every single minute that is spent on idle things would mean foregoing the chance of doing something greater, had it been spent in a better way. When I say valuing time; it is in the way how you chase your dreams and how you make them come true;it is in the way how you love and spend quality time with people you love it is in the way you become a valuable citizen of the society, giving honor to this country. As what my father would always tell me, time is precious and time that was lost would never be regained.

Today, I am turning 23. For a few months, I felt that my life was on a useless still. I was confused but I was fighting back. I have always known what my dreams are, I was just entertaining fears to torment my mind. But even so,I am fighting back. I know there has to be something for me. Finally, just the other day I received my admission for my graduation school program. I am now officially back as a student. I am no ordinary student now. For deep inside me, I am willing to learn whatever it takes to pursue my personal legend.

Stranger in the Night

2011-08-02T01:24:00.005+08:00

This is another unique subconscious encounter with someone whose identity is yet unknown to me. A few weeks ago I had this dream of bumping into this persona; the facade of his appearance seem lean and his eyes resplendently gaping at my whole existence. I couldn’t remember the dialogues, even the face but I vividly remember the feeling, the pristine emotions,variegated sensations that were present. I am not a connoisseur in interpreting dreams. Weird as it may seem but I think that night my subconscious mind is just giving a clear picture of what I really look for in a person. I am leveling up the ante,(I’m not saying my standards are impossible. They are high but not impossible. ;D)

And so I am just so inspired to write a short poem in an instant (i apologize for any errors hope its not a grammatical one ;p)

The evening light suffused unto your eyes that night
In my dreams, you just appeared in my sight
Stole the stillness of the night as I peacefully sleep
Took me me near you, make my heart leap

That moment felt like forever ,I couldn’t explain why
Groping for my rational thoughts, I sigh
“Are you for real or just to good to be true.”
Meeting your gaze, I courageously asked you

Ive been waiting this lifetime to find someone
An honest, sincere and perfect gentleman
A guy who can stand up and fight until the end
The shattered pieces of my heat, he can mend

Only one sweet embrace could give the answer I need
A pure and sincere love long before I heed
I was at first confusely unwilling to give in
But my mind stepped back let my heart win

For once, I could feel my heart resonating my mind
When in fact before it was so stupid and blind
Didn’t know where it start, when or how
But I dont even care all I see is now

It might take sometime for you to find me
But I pray it wont last a lifetime for you to see
That my love story would end, with you and me.

At The Crossroads

2011-07-29T00:43:00.009+08:00

Finding the right way of which I should turn, suddenly it dawned on me that I am now sailing an uncharted sea with only a map and my so called audacity of hope. Sometimes I am looking for that suffused light to shine on me and to steer a compass to lead me directly to the place I have always wanted to go.

But we know that life isn't as simple as that. We dont have any maneuvered contraption to use as a guide. Only a strong faith and that unwavering belief serve as our intermediaries in this life's battle. The tiring quotidian routine, growing weariness,meaningless confusions might sometimes lead me to think that all of my effort is a waste and that the precedent is veritable.

And hell yes,foolish thoughts like these can also make things look more complicated as they are. I guess I really fail in this aspect of having a very long patience and to just stop having to drown myself with useless apprehensions. Now is the time to sift out what is valuable and focus on what I have to do.

Too bad that my heart and mind in most instances would head on collision. My mind being the rationale,firm,argumentative and practical while my recalcitrant heart- the soft, the vulnerable and romanticist one. Believe me whenever I have all these things going on my head,its a big headache. How I wish I can have that cunning skill to reconciliate these two. I need to outthink my stubborn thinking.

Still I admit that though things are disarrayed for a while. My ounce of hope never leave me. I have always been a believer of going after what I want and to strive harder to get it. The time will come when things will all be placed in harmony;in its rightful palce. And so I begin to change my outlook in life. I am banning all negative thoughts from now on.

For Charline's weather forecast, I know that the upcoming days will dance under the bland summer breeze. From now on I'll stray away from negative thoughts and just be happy.

At Last

2011-07-26T20:55:00.005+08:00

Fox Rain

2011-06-20T21:48:00.008+08:00

The rays of the fiery sun strike in every tree branches making the lush greenery much more alive. As the beam of light kissed my cheeks while sitting on a solid wooden bench, my mind started to sail on a calm shore. I've always been like this; never allowing any thoughts to disturb my contained inner peace. Nor did I grant anyone the permission to seduce my complacency to thrive into the unknown, unsafe.

Everyday, for years, Ive kept myself afar, watching from a distance. Sitting in the corner while keenly observing every people pass by give me this rare chance to try to decode those faces and expressions.I've been wanting to fathom what is behind those surreptitious glances and smiles, this feeling of dire need I myself could not comprehend.

Then, a sight of you just came dashing in my supposedly tranquil and typical day. Everything changed in an instant. I started to feel like Im now being drowned in my own oblivion,victimized by my false hopes and optimism. Yes, I want to blame you for that. But how can I hold it against someone or rather something, I have never experienced for real..

My vision started to go blur and my breathe went into a heavy panting and irksome sighing. All my thoughts swerved to a topsyturvey turn. My used to be rational mind abruptly could not decide what to do. I've started to wander myself with questions; should i search for you? should i make a move now?

I want you to come to me, at least just the idea of you trying,i guess would suffice. I want to meet your eyes, gaze at you for a while. Eventually, finding out to have no stupid reason why I just like to.I imagine holding your hand, grasping it too tight and will never let go.

Then my thoughts drifted back to reality. It was a mere daydream. When I opened my eyes you were nowhere of sight. Lost were the feelings and the dreams Ive tried to suppress. Holding my hands, I could feel my heart contracted heavily for a while. There and then, no cure can mend it except for the tears let alone get out of its way. Just as rain started to drench me, I could feel myself trying to wipe those tears away. When I closed my eyes, I suddenly prayed. Then, a glimpse of hope came rushing in. It is something divine and it continues to comfort me til now. Seconds after, a rainbow started to appear in the sky. Not now but perhaps soon, I told myself.

* It was indeed a sunny morning that day but it suddenly rained. A fox rain.

*The theme of this write-up is basically from a koreanovela that I had finished watching, My Girlfriend is a Gumiho.

On Stage

2011-06-15T17:13:00.009+08:00

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players..."- Shakespeare

We only have one life to spend and one air to breathe.And to spend this lifetime without any regrets is something that not all people can do.Im glad, my life is one fun ride because of these amazing people I get to interact with everyday.

Just staring closely at the word, lol, I wasnt that surprised. This is one of my favorite hobbies; to eat and try different delicious food. After a hard day's work, it is nice to get a sumptuous meal. Then comes the mouthwatering dessert,that would make my day.

Memories with the people dear to me would always be my cherished treasure...

Do you like spending more time alone or more time around people?

2011-06-12T21:54:00.001+08:00

Do you like spending more time alone or more time around people?

Answer here

When You Believe...

2011-06-08T10:38:00.003+08:00

This is a very inspiring video I saw on facebook and so I am sharing it all to you. Witness how God works in giving hope to this boy who seem to have lost everything when he was a child but he's now discovering a precious gift that God has given Him.

"There can be miracles when you believe...."

Barking Up The Wrong Tree

2011-06-06T15:45:00.008+08:00

Much has been said in a seemingly endless conflagration of debates among people regarding the Reproductive Health Bill. Each party whether it be the pro RH bill, which I myself belong to and the Anti RH Bill seem to have their own respective arguments on the matter. But who is losing to whom? What are the real issues at stake? I am writing this blog for the sole purpose of expressing my thoughts, opinions and view without undermining or personally attacking those groups who are against the bill. I respect their opinion.

Last weekend, I happened to watch a late night TV show featuring a debate on the Reproductive Health Bill. The two opposite parties have three different representatives being given only a short span of 2 minutes to discuss their arguments and assert their stand on the issue. In light of defending my stand on the issue, I opted to deflect the arguments and concerns raised by the opposite group.

Economic Priorities

The anti RH group is dwelling too much on their argument that this bill should not be the priority and that instead of spending millions of money for condoms or other contraceptives and the like; they should be building new schools, investing on books and on teachers. In short, why focus on things that are not relevant for now when in fact our education system is now in shambles. The government is running insufficient in meeting the demands and the needs of students, of teachers, of public schools and of state universities. They assert that education is one of the ways to reduce poverty and one of the foundations in nation building. Now we can get it straight from then “it is just one of the many problems that we have..” and so it is not the only priority that we should consider.

And yes, what they had argued is a fact. It is a very crucial fact so as not to visibly see the underlining reason as to why not only our educational system has resulted to this. They are not able to discern that lack of budget is attributed to one of the reasons that an increasing population would mean a far outstretched budget resulting to people being provided with minimal and low quality social services. This is not an inquisition as to which one is the top priority and which one is irrelevant. For the two factors, in my own view, are economically and socially related.

No one is downplaying or questioning the importance of education. But what Im trying to say is that how can the government provide quality education to so many Filipinos if we will not incorporate the fact that population is now a major problem that we have to deal and that by continually neglecting it would only stem to a much more complicated and serious socio-economic woes and dilemmas in the long-run.

Freedom to Choose

The purpose of RH bill is not to coerce people to abide even if they refuse to. This is just a way of laying out options and choices for those people who are directly affected- the women. The women and the children are usually the ones who suffer from the consequences.

Some groups tend to forget that not all families in the Philippines are as rich and as educated like them. There is a staggering number of people on the lower echelon of the society who need to be educated and be provided with these vital services.

Just imagine a setting where the mother is bearing her 9th child, her husband doesn’t have a work, they have 9 mouths to feed, the other children who instead of studying and listening to the teacher inside the classroom are now on the streets trying to earn meager money to both ends meet.

So I couldn’t help but laugh whenever I see Manny Pacquiao on tv giving senseless opinion and off-tangent answers to questions. I am a big fan of him when it comes to boxing, but not with this one. He should have known how life really is since he experienced being the poorest of the poor. But I was disappointed when he said that “Mahirap kami wala kaming makain wala kaming matirahan pero nagsikap kami”. Again, the question here is how many of the these poor families will be able to reach like what Pacquiao has achieved?

Dogmatic Beliefs and its Pitfalls

The serious debate has now reached high tides as the catholic church is totally against it. They view the bill as an act of disobeying God's commandments by saying that the bill is immoral and that it entails abortion. But I dare say, that it is also God's command that parents should nurture and be responsible to their children and raise them to the best of their abilities. However, the present situation would affirm that this is not the case for many poor families. So which one is more sinful? Being able to have many children but these children lacking not only love but even the basic necessities of life or having a few children but parents can actually provide for their needs. The failure of parents and the government on this part brings society into a endless vicious cycle - poverty.

Quoting from Conrado De Quiros article, "RH... is not the solution to poverty.Not by itself. Neither is land reform, neither is fighting corruption, neither is graduating from college. Not by themselves. But taken together, they do push back poverty and misery immeasurably. Indeed, RH alone may not solve poverty, but the lack of it adds to poverty and misery all by itself. The absence of it deepens pain and suffering all by itself. The benighted opposition to it spreads benightedness and ignorance all by itself."

And so I say yes to life.Yes to RH Bill.

For June ...

2011-05-31T22:55:00.012+08:00

Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?

2011-05-28T22:31:00.001+08:00

Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
Answer here

My Girlfriend is a Gumiho

2011-05-28T18:45:00.000+08:00

Dare to Ask Me

2011-05-12T14:48:00.000+08:00

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

2011-05-10T00:34:00.001+08:00

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Answer here

My Music and Lyrics

2011-05-08T21:44:00.003+08:00

I miss playing the guitar and since my old guitar just got broken. I really do hope I can buy a new one. Epiphone guitar! Im gonna get you soon..haha

Make avatar

formspring.me

2011-05-07T16:37:00.001+08:00
Ask me anything http://formspring.me/charlline11

Time of My Life

2011-05-03T00:20:00.005+08:00
Now that Im starting to live my life to its fullest. Im going back to my first love which is dancing. Unfortunately, i dont know any street jazz or hip hop dance workshops here in Manila. Wish I will be able to find a good one at a reasonable one. Since Im not athletic haha I should go back to dancing.;)

Oh how I miss the action on the dance floor.

Reminiscing my dance performances,I would always go back to one of my most liked movies.

Coffee Time!

2011-05-02T23:47:00.002+08:00
Yehey! I got a bit excited when I heard about this promo.haha. Im not into caffeine drinks too much but nowadays it is becoming a necessity for me so might as well take the discounted frappuccinos.

I Bide My Time, I Take My Chances

2011-04-23T19:07:00.006+08:00
Sometimes I get too excited and too preoccupied with my incessant thoughts of what will happen. Barely did I realize that it would take much time for me to discern on which path I would really want to go.

Its not that Im completely lost and totally drowned in my own chafes about life. I want to achieve something, meet that someone and go somewhere. But sometimes it feels like all of these phrases are but some unknown variables in a mathematical equation I have to still figure out.

As of the moment, I am not sure if the solution strategies that I have are sufficient enough for me to find those missing variables in my life and get the correct answer that I want.

I would sometimes reach to a point that Im wasting a lot of time on this pursuit of passion but then again when realizations start to knock on my thoughts; I cant help but say to myself,"I bide my time and Im taking my chances." Ive never been a risk taker in my life, complacency was a safer avenue for me. In that contained dimensions, I felt like all things were under my control. But to my astonishment, life is not like that. When you dont want to risk anything,you'll never achieve anything.

So now I bide my time to go into the unknown realms of my dream and passion. I am taking my chances to bet for the right solutions to my own equation and to get that answer.

Fashion Will Forever Be Tempting

2011-04-14T20:44:00.010+08:00

Fashionable clothes...A nice pair of shoes with a well crafted bag..Tie up with a good set of accessories.. Dazzling smile...Positive outlook and a stunning personality.. And you are good to go...

Nowadays being vain is not a luxury but a basic necessity. People spend money just to look good and I guess its not a bad thing. If you feel happy the way you dress up yourself then its not a problem. Wanting to be fashionable and looking good is not tantamount to being narcissistic.

In my case, Im not really the type who would spend too much on fashion. But somehow I admit Im still a woman lol and I can appreciate nice thins especially when i get to see one.

So last weekend, i went to the newly opened Forever 21 at SM Makati. At first, I thought that the shop was a bit overstated. Why are people making such a big fuss about it? haaha..

I came to enter in some shops before actually going there. It just suddenly struck me. Whew. Clothes and the like are really expensive nowadays.

When i went to Forever 21,ok so the price is just the same. But at least you have value for money when you shop there. No wonder girls and even some guys go gaga over the newly opened shop. Im not a shopaholic though i admit I am an impulsive buyer at times.

The human nature in me as a woman just suddenly came out. I can hardly say Im fashionable hahaha I wear clothes of which I am comfortable of.The last thing I noticed I was also taking part of the craze. Funny but now I know understand why. I guess if i have many money before entering that store when I go out, Im completely broke.

At least I was still able to control my spending. Thank goodness its weekend and i could get just too lazy looking for nice items when its too crowded. lol. I said I would just look around and observe for myself as to what this shop has to offer. But I ended up buying. haha. After trying those nice clothes,I can definitely say forever 21 and being fashionable in general will always be tempting.

Statue

2011-04-06T00:24:00.005+08:00

Just the WAy You Are

2011-04-01T00:44:00.005+08:00
Here is my cover of Bruno Mar's Just the Way you Are. I'd like to dedicate this song to that special one and to all the single women waiting for their Mr. Right.;)

My apology for the sound quality and for my voice quality ;))

No Ordinary Day

2011-03-26T23:31:00.018+08:00
One drizzle afternoon I came across an sms message. Zooming in, “Char eastwood tayo.”;it was an sms from one of my closest friends and reliable confidante. My days are falling into a boredom pitfall so I dropped my activities for that day and replied. “Tara,lets go!”

That day started with a sizzling-half-cooked lunch at Sizzling Pepper Steak haha. I kept on talking and talking and I didn’t realize that I should cook the meal myself. It could have been a half-cooked-inedible-meal if I was a minute late lol. After that sumptuous meal, we went to buy our ticket for the movie, Just Go With It, starring my all time favorite Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston. But since we have to wait for about an hour for the movie, we decided to play at timezone. I was a bit surprised but the place where we played was not the usual Timezone amusement place I used to know, haha it was totally empty. And since we can move like under total control all over the place, it was one sure fun.

One of the highlights of this day is our pictorial with the Azkals haha. Yes, its indeed the Azkals,only they are in the poster hahaha. But Im really wishing i can see them in person. Aside from capturing moments with the Azkals, we also had our own bathroom pictorial haha dunno where it all started but my bestfriends and i would not end the day without any pictorials inside the ladies comfort room, its a unique place haha.

But of course this day would not end without any significant realizations or without the meaningful confab. Talking about the past experiences and looking forward for the upcoming days with the right perspective and positive outlook make that day an extraordinary one. This is how I should live life, be happy, love the people who loves me and have a positive aura! Oh i love my friends ;))

Free Will VS Destiny

2011-03-12T18:28:00.002+08:00
"When you really want something,the whole universe conspires to help achieve it."- Paul Coelho, The Alchemmist

In life, one would often talk about destiny; of allowing things to happen and take place. Though I myself believe in serendipity and destiny, I still think that things happen because of the choices that we make though sometimes there are things that really happen when we least expect it,something that we seem to have no control. In which case i would assert that I am a 90% free will and 10% destiny believer lol.

Last week marked my more-time-more-movies-to-watch-leisure-coupon for one day.haha. Its a good stress reliever though. Ironic but as much as I want to stay away from watching romance related movies I ended up spending the dime on them. Dunno if I unconsciously still loves watching them or I just dont have the choice,it has always been a sought-after theme.

Just Go With It
"Are you running from something that you want or from something you're afraid to want?"
Ive always loved adam sandler movies and this one is another must-watch movie. It will make you laugh like never before. ;) But most importantly, it teaches you when to just let go of things and to finally decide and make a stand. Its too bad that we fail to see people in a different light. Sometimes in our endless search for that one great love and all the superficial adventures that comes along with it, we fail to see that the person we've been looking for is just in front of us.

The Adjustment Bureau

This movie starring Matt Damon and emily blunt captured my attention once again. At first, I was dubious whether i would enjoy this movie because the setting is just dull and cloudy; too serious for me. AS events continue to unfold, I cant keep my eyes off the screen.

geez. I dont know how Matt Damon's character in the movie waited for 3 years, riding the same bus, doing his morning routine everyday just to catch a glimpse of Emily Blunt, in betting his chances of seeing the woman he has been wanting to have all his life. His efforts might seem cycnical and futile, but then eventually even fate would take his side. Even if his own fate would not allow him to be with her, he dared to change it.

Marry Me

2011-03-09T20:01:00.003+08:00
I've been listening to this song for the past few days. Such a lovely song that can capture anyone's heart.

Forever can never be long enough for me
Feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry Me
Today and every day
Marry Me
If I ever get the nerve to say
Hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Promise me
You'll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to
Sing to you
When all the music dies

And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Marry me
Mm-hmm

My Starter..

2011-03-02T20:55:00.001+08:00

EAT.PRAY.LOVE.

2011-02-26T22:24:00.016+08:00

Finally, after months of starts and stops I got hold of the last page of the book, Eat-Pray-Love By Elizabeth Gilbert. After reading the book and savoring the inspirational contents of it, i took a deep breathe as if a new gush of air filled my lungs. This book definitely came just when some nimbus of light seem to circle my thoughts, I read it at the time I needed it most.

EAT. When worries and problems come as if you're the only target on this planet,one cant help but to wonder and pose a question, "Why on earth is life so difficult?". Much worst this could lead to other people losing their appetite. But luckily in my case, in times of despair, I would definitely eat no matter what. lol. When im stressed out Id go searching for a pleasant food that could delight my palate. Rationale: When you're problematic, you surely need to eat a lot so you have the energy to think.

PRAY.I find solace when I pray. Though for the past few months, I failed to do this sole thing that saved me from all of my miseries before. And so i start to open my eyes again, to pray and open my spirituality. After all, there are things and events in our life that sometimes we don't have any control. Let things be and let God. When you keep on thinking and worrying too much, it will just knock the wits out of you.So might as well let go of things. What happened in the past could not be changed, but the present circumstances are in your hands.You have the power to alter its course. You have to let go of the negative vibes,of all the emotions that once locked you on,of all the hatred and blames. You have to free yourself so you can be happy.

LOVE. All of us are in search of the one true love that could take us to places we never thought we could experience and to just have a feel of that utmost happiness we've been wanting to have. But just like in search of something that is really precious, we sometimes are mislead and undergo painful tests to find that special someone. But just like what I heard from a friend,you have to be the right person first before you find the right one for you. After all, love comes when you least expect it. You have to be a complete first. And so while I am still single,I'll continue to spread the love....;)

Feb Fair

2011-02-22T23:56:00.009+08:00

Its February and its the yearly feb fair of UP. Yehey! lol My thoughts are completely fucked up for the past few days. I know its difficult to leave everything behind even your job just to go after what you really want to achieve. And so amidst all of my confusions, there is nowhere else to go than to be in that place where you started to think of your dreams,of what you really want. Of course it wasn't just a too serious i-am-searching-for-my-career day, fun was also part of it and that one for sure would involve a lot of food tripping lol.

But yes after the day has past, I was able to accomplish two things. ONE: Clear my thoughts and finally decide as to what I really want SECOND: To finally let go of all the negative vibes that I brought along when I came back.

When i finally get back to Manila,its as if Im rejuvenated once again. No worries,my mind is clear...

It's a Love Story

2011-02-06T14:59:00.006+08:00

It's February and valentine's day is just around the corner. I don't mind being categorized under SAD (lol i just accidentally heard it from a TV host just today) which means Single Awareness Day. It doesn't look that bad anyway. And since february is celebrated with full of love not only love but also lots of concerts we all have been waiting for.

I couldnt be more excited than to see and share the music of Taylor Swift.
I find her musicality really unique, fun but most of all sincere. Not to mention that I can relate to most of her songs. haha

TEARDROPS ON MY GUITAR

I really love this song for the simple reason that I myself play the guitar and I know how it felt to watch someone from afar; someone you know belongs to someone else that all you can do to ease your solitude is to play the melody of the song that can appease all the hurt.

WHITE HORSE

At first when I heard of the title, i was curious but then eventually I realized as to why that is the title of the song. White horse. Prince charming. Happy ending. Well they are pieces of details to complete a perfect love story, a fairytale, a knight in shining armor coming in to rescue the girl he loves from despair and distress. But then everything falls apart as the girl started to realize that life is not a box of chocolates, of sweet nottings, of forever and happy ending. That in the end, we are faced with harsh realities. After all why should we put too much hope and expectation on people who would only let us down. Too bad regrets always come at the end and when everything is too late. And so as long as you have the opportunity and the chance dont waste it, coz you'll never know when you will lose the people you love.

LOVE STORY

Finally when everything seem to be hopeless, dragging and tiring, there comes someone who will just make everything as if the past is but just a distant memory and the present, the future is what really matters. The seem to be endless waiting and crying will now be placed with sincere love and happiness. That is where a true love story happens, not perfect but a surreal one.

Craving craving..yum

2011-01-22T20:07:00.005+08:00

After many days of having non-stop cough and dreadful sore throat, my taste buds are craving for some of the foods I want to eat...hahaha

Taking Chances and A Leap of Faith

2011-01-15T19:48:00.006+08:00

In life, you will really come to a point where you have to STOP as in both its literal and figurative sense to just contemplate on certain things. Assessing my life for the past few years is an avenue for that "stop-and-think-for-a-while-moments". For me, it would always involve a lot of sighs and sleepless nights, a lot of eating and messed up thought going around my mind.

Finally, when you get lost in transition for a while your thoughts are getting much clearer. I'm glad that part of my character has not lost its spark for doing things that I really love to do, for sticking with my belief in having social significance. Yes, it is a chance, a risk, that I had to take to leave all things behind; quit my job and to step out of the corporate world.

On a much up close and personal perspective, I also have to take risks with something I'm not sure where it will lead me. These situations have indeed made me stronger, have widened my used to be narrow perceptions on life and have finally provided leeway for my emotional needs. But one thing is for sure, my rationality as a person would always bring me back to the rightful place.As what they always say, use your heart but when you get lost use your head to come back.

Facebook Status:My 2010

2011-01-08T14:24:00.003+08:00

Happiness Defined

2011-01-07T14:53:00.009+08:00

Since im back to the academic world again lol, needless to say I am studying again in preparation for my masteral. I might as well apply some economics concepts that I know in real life situations.

In life, we are faced with different situations given certain circumstances where we are bound to make decisions and choices. Most of us if not all would always go for the choice that is favorable to us, a choice where we feel happy. Though this might be the easiest decision making one person can do, unfortunately, life is more complicated than that. When you have to make a choice, for sure it might affect other people.

Pareto efficiency, is an economic concept where in one can be made better off without the other one worse off. It sounds like a simple concept eh?But when you apply it in real life. Its like saying that you can do anything that can make you feel happy for as long as you are not hurting anyone or stepping on any other people's feelings.

Just A Dream

2010-12-29T20:42:00.000+08:00

Mind and Heart

2010-11-27T22:26:00.004+08:00

Will the heart remembers what the mind forgets?

This is the main plot of the movie, My Amnesia Girl. Last friday night, I watched it together with my fellow women officemates. (Go girl power!haha). I had my share of laughs and tears all throughout the movies. But just like in all movies i watch, i always make sure that I can learn something and I've come up with some observations and realizations.

1. John Lloyd is really handsome!!! haha I bet no one would disagree with me.

Kidding aside...

2. When you're given the chance, don't ever let it go.
People would always repent in the end for either the stupidity or the mistakes that they have done. When you hurt someone, it can only lead you to two options. Either the person you hurt gives you another chance or its the end for you. Lucky if you are given the chance to repent and to prove yourself to that person that you are worthy. Though people are given chances, it doesnt mean that it should be abused coz people also know when to stop and be tired.

And so its very important to take care of the people you love and who loves you. You should be thankful that they never get tired of having you.

3. The mind can forget but the heart cannot.
The idea might be absurd because feelings and matters of the heart are often controversial topics lol haha. But just like in the movie,you might have amnesia or you can forget everything but you heart wouldnt forget how and what you feel.

And so im sharing the ost of this movie to everyone...hmm..Spread the Love. Be happy and make other people happy. ...;)

Music..The Sound of My Soul..

2010-11-02T19:42:00.004+08:00

When I begin to strum the strings of my guitar, when I gently stroke my bow to my violin, that is where the music reveals the sound of my soul.I find solace in hearing my own motions plucking the string of my guitar; of interpreting the emotions in every song I play. Every note i play is like a piece of me unraveling the depths of myself.

And so I appreciate and i put high praise to very talented musicians i get to see. Unfortunately I didnt get the chance to place my passion for music one notch higher. But I am happy that even if I didnt become a professional musician (but sometimes I wish i had skills like them hahaha) I find utmost hhappiness having music as my ultimate hobby.;)

Comfort Food

2010-10-23T21:36:00.004+08:00

Yum yum. What else should a big food lover like me (who happens to feel a bit sad these past few days)do than to eat those food that can ease everything away. Well, I just dont this when Im sad haha. whether I encounter a good or a bad day, Ill still eat good food.

hmmm..Street foods, though they say its dirty,still a lot of people go out on the streets and eat isaw,kikiam,kwek-kwek,squid balls,etc. They may not be served in cozy restaurants but these foods surely have distinct taste of its own.

After Mcdonalds brought back their all time favorite twister fries, I can't help but to crave for this meal,twister fries with coke float.haha. Never mind the calories, after all I dont eat Mcdo all the time, just for this moment hehe.

My food trip definitely relieves my stress and makes me forget all my worries..haha
and just like what they all say, they way to a woman's heart is through her stomach..;)

When the clock strikes 12

2010-10-18T20:33:00.008+08:00

Funny why my memories out of the blue drifted back to my kindergarten days...lol..I guess this could be one of the manifestations of me wanting to be in "I-wish-my life is-a-bit-less-comlpicated" line of thought. I wish I could go back to linger on the days when I was in my cute costume as Cinderella,when life was still simple, when my life was still protected and sheltered. But of course though that would be the most insane thought I could think of, i know deep inside I am happy as to how matured I've become throughtout the years.Abd just like any other stories, events will have to touchbase with reality. So when Cinderella came back to her senses when the clock striked 12, I in turn realized...

...that ironies in life has its way of surprising you. I remember the one who became my evil step sister in our cinderella play who is now my long-time bestfriend for a decade already. Ironic,eh?! Before I would always place myself in my comfort zone, be surrounded by people who loves me, who likes me and experience situations that are favorable to me. Yet, there is a broad spectrum of life ahead;tough lessons that i still have to learn and so I would dare go to explore the strangest places, meet the craziest people and yet appreciate the good in them; be loved and be hated for being who you are without stepping on other person's feelings and accept that life, in general, will never be easy. This is how I get to appreciate life; by learning it even the hard way.

....that if you want to have a happy ending you have to make it happen and that the prince charming we know as someone who is perfect in its shining armor is but just a creation of our fantasy;making us forget that we deal with men,men who can and will make mistakes. And that every perfect scenario is but just a wishful thinking we have to overcome before it lures us to doom. I myself believe in fate, in destiny, in serendipity, in taking chances. But I couldnt just wait, I have to do something for it to take place. I have to constantly pray and hope and when the right one comes along, don't ever let him go.. However, that is not where the story ends and so I'd like to leave it all up to HIM to finish and write my own happy ending...;)

Rough Road

2010-10-01T18:17:00.010+08:00
My thoughts for the past few days are messed up. For once in my life, I've never felt my weak emotions are now starting to drown me into madness I know I couldn't evade. Letting go of what your heart truly feels is just as same weight as accepting what your mind tells you to do. Beyond any rational judgement I am trying to conjure is a creeping unreasonable thought of accepting I know something is wrong and I just cant pretend things will be better.

I guess you really cannot escape pain and hurt when loving someone. I want to walk away, turn my back, and just forget everything that have happened. In as much as my mind is competing with my heart and saying that I should step my feet forward, the other one says stay. Who knows what this whole thing will give to me?Both two sides of my very close friends whom I confided the matter have a point.

Why not give the person a chance and dont look at him in a bad light? The other side says,you've given him a lot of chances already and he blew it. You deserve someone better,way way better than him. But the other side would argue, what if he is really the one for you and you just didnt trust him and give him the chance to finally prove himself.... Oh boy, and the rest of the arguments follow...

I know I have to take a stand..I have to decide...But I guess they are right..I deserve someone who will be sincere, honest with me. Someone who will really prove himself worthy and someone who will fight for me until the end.

Falling in love at the wrong time, at the wrong place is a bit difficult expecially if situations are complicated.Too much emotions are at stake.

But after contemplating on somethings, finally my heart and mind in unison already gave me the answer. Follow your heart, and if you get lost use your head to come back.

If he is the one, he'll do everything to have you back. If it's not him, then it might have been someone else all this time.

Just Don't Stop Dreaming...

2010-09-04T21:41:00.003+08:00

No matter how determined you are, no matter how much perseverance and effort you exert to achieve something for yourself, for the people you love, sometimes you will really reach a saturation point where you will start to feel weak, grow impatient and eventually try to give up. But amidst all these negative thoughts clouding my mind, a ray of light also starts to surface. Lately I've felt like I am starting to diverge away from my dreams to have a good life, to have a significant career and to provide the best life I can give for my family. I wouldnt want to admit its presence, but yes the boldness of my character is already starting to lose its spirit.

But i guess sometimes its never wrong to acknowledge the fact that there will come a time that you will feel this uncertainty of being situated in a position you have no control. As my stupid thoughts start to drown me, I also get to catch a glimpse of that ray of light- hope.

Then I would start to recollect some of the positive thoughts thats left and be able to realize that i still have all the time in the world. Now its not the time to give up. The road I should take is no teasy and it will never be. I should keep on going and keep the fire burning.AJA!

The things I want to do....

2010-08-20T21:37:00.004+08:00

The vast bluish sky, lush greenery, bright yellow sunflowers, continuous flow of water and those smiling faces...These are but just some of the things I capture with my very own lenses-my eyes.

I don't have my own set of slr camera for me to capture those eye catching moments. But I would want to have one very soon.

Its nice to travel the world,meet new people, encounter different culture and be with the one you truly love....^_^

Needing some lifeline

2010-07-19T17:59:00.003+08:00

My gosh i've been losing out energies and some stupid thoughts running inside my head are knocking me out of my wits. Guess this is just a serious repercussion of having no complete sleep everyday,then paired up with having to deal with very stressful situations and that includes people. In as much as I want to extend my patience to deal with these circumstances, sometimes my capacity to do so is just as limited and unfortunately is now taking its toll.

How I wish I can have some another lifeline to gain back my strenth and I hope that would include more and more patience.

Eclipse-Live.Love.Laugh.

2010-07-03T15:07:00.006+08:00

After watching the movie,eclipse I came to conclude for three things.One is that life all begins with a choice. Second, issues about love can really be a big pain in the ass lol. (Just imagine jacob black being dumped by bella swan lolz) Lastly, there will always be two sides of the story; either you are happy without hurting anyone or you are happy but consciously and unconsciously hurting someone.

One. Life begins with a choice.

In our lives, we often would complain with how certain things come and go. We fret over petty things and situations comparing ourselves to other people;saying life isnt fair,asking ourselves why everyone is like this and other is not. After all, what we have and what we do are but just outcomes of the choices that we make. Just like Bella, she had the choice of living a normal life and just fall in love with a normal person. But she had a choice: to be with a vampire who loves her and be happy than to have a life, peaceful but without him in it. And since she chose the person that makes her happy, she chose to be with Edward. Same us ours, we always have the choice if we want to be happy in life. ;)

Second. Love can really be a big pain the ass..(sometimes)

Whenever I watch a movie, i would always sympathize with the those character whose faith and lucky in love seems to have lost its course. Though in this world,they say, love can make the world go round. There are still exemptions especially for those who are not chosen, those who have the capacity to love but arent given the chance.You sincerely want to be with that person but its not destiny that is stopping you but that person alone can already tear your heart piece by piece. Even though situations like these do happen not only in movies and books but also in real life, i still believe in perfect match or finding your soul-mate coz if that person doesnt love you then he or she is not the one for you. So yes, love can be a big pain in the ass sometimes. It holds true when you are in the process of searching your other half, the person that would complete you but not for those who have already found the love of their life.

Third. Another side of the story

What you is see may just be 1/2,1/4 or even 1/8 of the whole thing. There will always be another side of the coin. It is very important that when you decide and choose make sure that you're not hurting anyone. After all, how can you be happy in life if you know that your happiness is causing grief and agony to someone.

Over-all the movie is great.This goes to show that i'm also a twilight fan hahaha.. I got some big and much more in-depth life realizations though i'm still trying to fathom why on earth would Bell claim she loves Edward too much but also happens to fall in love with Jacob. But anyway, guess life has been like that, complicated;better to leave things unsaid.lol.

Letter to Juliet

2010-06-19T21:27:00.003+08:00
Verona Italy, witnessed the love story of Romeo and Juliet..

I couldnt remember the last time I saw a romantic movie and this time with letters to Juliet, I can't help but to feel romantic once again.

It just amazes me that in reality there is really a "Juliet Wall" in Verona Italy where women can write letters to Juliet.....

Charmander at Work..

2010-05-23T20:14:00.003+08:00

Time really flies fast. With just a blink of an eye one,two, three or more years have already passed. Before I was very eager to work and earn on my own. hahaha. One reason behind it is my wanting to escape from my stressful academic life and my if-you-dont-finish-papers-you're-dead instances. haha

When I graduated last year, I realized that my life would be different. And yes, my present situation would attest to that. Not that im looking at it in a bad light, its just that a part of me misses something.

Since I like exploring new heights and widening my horizons, I have decided to take my dreams one notch higher..May God help me with my yearning to take the Foreign Service exam probably after I successfully finish my Masters...

Noynoy's Character is His Fate

2010-05-09T23:02:00.013+08:00

Yellow ribbons are looming all over the corner of the streets; both grieving and paying tribute to the insurmountable contribution of former Pres. Cory Aquino who until her last breath continued to fight for democracy, peace and justice. Her death last Aug. 2009 altered the course of history.

Back then and even now, the country has witnessed the worst socio-economic conditions one can ever imagine. People would go out on the streets to voice out their grievances and sentiments often ending up disappointed for there were hardly any solutions presented to ease even slight of their sufferings. Endemic corruption is everywhere. Many are living below the poverty threshold. Injustice for those who cannot afford it persists. Basic needs like food, shelter and clothing seems to be the most unattainable commodities.

We are also not new to various scandals and anomalies involving even the highest official of the land,Pres. Arroyo, in multi-million government projects. We are also not new to the injustice and unfair ruling regarding the Ampatuan case; of the endless and shameless actions of those officials who continually abuse their power and those who instead of looking after the welfare and the interest of the people, particularly the masses, prioritize their own partisan interests.. We are also not new to the continuous violation of human rights. We are very much aware of all these abhorrent and chaotic scenarios. Even if the present administration has tried its best effort and gathered all the support they can get to contain the majority of the people. They cannot hide the disappointment and distrust of the people.

Then comes a figure of a man, reluctant to assume the people’s calling for him to run for presidency. After the death of his mother, the clamor of the people for a leader who will stand up for them, an embodiment of two of the most revered heroes of all time, Ninoy and Cory Aquino, grows louder and stronger. When Mar Roxas finally gave way and sacrificed to pave way for the people’s recourse for a leader that can uplift them; the shy, reluctant man in his 50s accepted and assumed the responsibility not just to become the standard bearer of the Liberal Party to run for presidency but most importantly, accepted the faith lying in his hands.

At first, I belong to the group of people who were skeptic in him running for a position that can either make or break the country. I, just like anyone else had doubts before. But as events continue to unfold, as the campaign started, I eventually discover the good nature of his character. As days pass by, the once before shy, reluctant man is now a man full of convictions; possessing the right blending of qualities we need from a leader, someone of whom the Filipinos people can put their hopes and trust once more; someone who can make the people dream again and to make that dream happen and be fully realized to reality. We are clamoring for a leader who can feel the pulse of the people, who will heed the voice of the people.

Good character

This coming election the majority of people, in my own opinion, are not looking for someone who has the highest of intellect or the best of qualifications. We have tried leaders with these kinds of caliber, and they didn’t offer any solutions to appease the people’s upheaval and growing distrust. We had Marcos, a very brilliant lawyer, the most intelligent President in the history of the nation, but then he became a dictator and got drowned by power.

Following his footsteps is a woman, lies in the persona of Mrs. Arroyo, also a promising economist and politician, who turned out to be much worst one can imagine. And so one cannot help but ask, we’ve tried intellectual presidents and even the not-so-intellectual president before, but why is our country like this? An in-depth look and analysis would arrive at a conclusion that the common denominator that these leaders lack is – “good and strong character”.

Among all the candidates, I think Noynoy is miles away in terms of character. Nurtured by parents like Ninoy and Cory, how can one deviate from the moral values that were taught by them? There is a saying that a good tree will never bear a bad fruit. Yes, its logical to say that Noynoy being the offspring of these two heroes who place high value on morals, decency, integrity and dignity, will hardly be like the previous leaders we’ve had before. Some people would defame him for being a mama’s boy and using the legacy of his parents for him to win the elections. But I say, if you have great heritage like that of Cory and Noynoy who carries the principles and convictions that we all should have, will you be ashamed of that?

Another thing I admire about him is his simplicity which is shown in the way he speaks and the way he acts. But the most important of all, I have high regards for him for being able to fight for what he thinks is right. Petty as it may seem, but one clear example is the way he treated Kris situation during the times when her sister was involved in a showbusiness fiasco way back. I remember Kris Aquino admitting that he and her brother before were not talking because of these issues. That only shows he can discipline even his sister. This goes to prove that for him a wrong can never be right. Another is his stand on the issue on reproductive bill. Considering the tight rivalry among the other candidates, it is but rational for a candidate not to diverge away from the Catholic Church’ sentiments. Among the other candidates, he is the one who is firm in saying that, “Yes, we have a population problem and its serious.”

Amidst the Mudslinging

Amidst the mudslinging done by his rivals, Noynoy Aquino remained a reserved and respectable candidate . He didn’t throw below the belt words or resort to dirty poliical tacticsto defame other people. Unlike some who dubbed him as mentally incapable or epileptic and even presented fictitious documents, which later on were proved to be false documents. Funny as to how the black propaganda of these people backfired against them. It only shows that evil will not really triumph over the good.

A Clear Platform

While I was surfing on the internet for some of the platforms of the presidential candidates, I was really impressed by the detailed action plans and platforms by Noynoy Aquino and Mar Roxas. So how can other people claim that Noynoy is all but words? When in fact compared to other candidates, Aquino-Roxas tandem offer a much clearer path to where they want us to head.

The following are the links of the Liberal’s Party platform and action plans
http://www.noynoy.ph/v3/credentials.php
http://www.noynoy.ph/v3/platform.php
http://www.noynoy.ph/v3/action-plans.php

A Confluence of Events

A confluence of events is starting to reveal itself and as destiny starts to favor Noynoy, hardly anyone can deny that after garnering a 22% lead in surveys, Noyonoy Aquino indeed has a high chance of winning.
Before ending up my blog, let me quote the article of Joanne Rae Ramirez, “Character is destiny. When it is in your DNA, in the finest fiber of your being, to be honest and morally upright, and what you intrinsically are is reinforced by the example of the people who nurtured you, how far can you stray from the straight and honest path?
Nature and nurture are on the side of Noynoy Aquino. Was there a better classroom for the lessons of democracy and clean government than the bungalow on Times street where Noynoy grew up?”

Its all about Time-Management

2010-05-09T11:29:00.002+08:00

With all the things that I have to accomplish and the never-ending deadlines that I have to meet. Whew. Just like what everyone else is wishing for, I need more time..time..time...

As what older people would say, its just a matter of time management. Though I admit Im not good in financial management hahah I dont know if I should be happy to admit that, I have a pretty good time management skill. I am supposing I really do have it. lol.

So now that I got myself a violin. Never mind my mother's soft spoken words scolding me for buying another instrument when in fact I am aware I couldnt even allot some minutes to just look at it.

But music is my passion, so even I'm hell busy I would find a way to strum a song using my guitar, browse the net for guitar tabs. Now, I couldnt even be happier to learn and study violin.

oh I miss those days...

2010-04-25T17:17:00.006+08:00

Last saturday, I attended my very cute and adorable god daughter, Nathalie Gabriel's christening. But prior with me attending the baptism is my yearning to go to the place I really love the most where I can just walk and appreciate nature, very carefree and relaxing. Beyond my appreciation for nature is the fact that the place I haven't visited for almost a year, was my home for four years. I just miss elbi..anything and everything n it especially the people I havent seen for a while. Its really nice to go back to the place that has become a big part of yourself.

I guess I'm just being too melodramatic nowadays..again..haha yes here comes the word.."again". Well stress would always knock on your door if not 24/7 in your entire existence, except for sleeping time..lol..

But yes aside from being stressed out, I miss a lot of things. When I mean "miss", I connote two meanings. One is that I miss the people I haven't kept in touch with for almost a year and the second, I lost the opportunity and the events I could have experienced if not for the profession I have. I am not fretting, in fact I enjoy it I just wont admit that I want to do a lot of things I know time constraints won't allow me.

I miss being a student. haaha ayeah ironic.. coz out of the 15 years of my life all i do was to complain about my studies, research papers,thesis...hahaha But now I realized I want to achieve more...

So im hoping to start my masters next year and be a much more balanced person hahaha

Reaching...

2010-04-03T01:05:00.005+08:00

I looked up and I saw the sky...endless..boundless..
Ive never felt like I've wanted to reach out for something i know I cant have.
My hands couldn't even hold it, just like my eyes couldn't hide from its shining
light.

No matter how I try to avoid its encompassing light, I couldn't seem to get away from your sight. But even if
I can feel the heat radiating from it, I feel naive.

Coz no matter how I wanted to reach out for you and make you stay with me.
You'll forever be like the sky, far-away, vast and unreachable.

Stress Reliever

2010-03-06T23:23:00.002+08:00
I'm not very good in playing guitar neither do I consider my singing as satisfactory. But whenvern I get hold of my instrument, I just want to sing all the way and sing my heart out.

Me singing FAITHFULLY

Me singing HEAVEN

Filipino Talent Rocks

2010-03-06T12:43:00.001+08:00

Far Away

2010-03-01T23:22:00.007+08:00

I was feeling a bit bored so i composed a short poem hehehe....I missed doing these stuffs..Hopefully I can finish composing my song...

Thoughts of you continously linger on my mind
Only remembering how I could have been so blind
Regrets of the past could just simply fade away
Realizing that things are much better this way...

Most of the days when times remind me of you
All I can recall if all what you said is true
Later,I realized there is no me and you
Im sad but im not looking for you...

There is someone I know God has given me
A beautiful and loving person, he will be
Someone who will give me the love so pure and true
Someone who will take care of my heart unlike you

Now I might as well just wait in line
until that right one comes and he'll be mine
All the pain I know would simply drift away
For his love and care would endlessly stay....

Random Thoughts

2010-02-23T22:53:00.003+08:00
Whewww... its been 2..3..days..no almost a week that I havent written something for my blog and I kinda miss it.

I dont know why I just felt sad a few days back. Maybe because my work is taking away all the energy I have..haha..lol..or maybe I tried to suppress some emotions I myself wouldnt admit to be present. I guess it was better that way. Not until I realized that the more I try to run away from it, the more it haunts me.

So instead of the endless hiding, seek and run, I might as well acknowledge its presence. After pondering on some things, finally I feel much better now.

YEahhhh..We should be happy with the things that we have right now. For sure God has his plans as to why we still have not received the things that we want.

As for now, its better to enjoy life to the fullest in the same way as I enjoy writing my personal blog....

A Song of Love

2010-02-13T21:54:00.005+08:00
Today is february 13, past 9 o'clock and Ive just arrived. While I was outside, almost all of the places Ive been to played love songs. And since Ive always wanted to record a love song with my guitar, I tried to record a song. This time I recorded a song that is more soulful,something that is more sincere. And since I dont have a lovelife haahaha so theres no one I can relate my favorite love song with, I just played the song "Kahit Maputi na ang Buhok Ko"...an endless and classic lovesong...I dedicate this song to my parents...^_^

Wishing I have more time...

2010-02-10T21:31:00.010+08:00

Lately, Ive been performing and doing all kinds of work and tasks, being a full time business development associate slash marketing person (as of the moment lol) in the morning,a certified "rakitera" after my day work, my commitment to other activities and responsibilities. And I seriously dont know how in my wildest imagination am I able to accomplish all these. Well for one, Im a very active and dynamic person. I wouldnt want to sit in the office staring point blank to the computer doing office stuffs...

Right now though I admit I've been very busy...Im stil wishing I have more time for...

Sleeping. LOL. Funny as it may seem but yes you read it right, I want to have more time for sleep. Though I know in my present circumstance its not really possible except for the weekends..haha

Playing the Guitar. Gosh, I know its one of my new years' resolution to practice hard and learn all the guitar techniques I can learn. But due to time constraints, I barely touch my instrument on weekdays...huhu..Too bad....

Spending time with the people I love... Since I dont have much time, nowadays I rarely have the chance to go out with my family, my friends and my bestfriends. Thank goodness I dont have a boyfriend. It has saved me a lot of time, and has snatched me away from having bad headaches and terrible nightmares...lhaahaha

Reading books....Hay this one really makes me sad. Im a Christian and I have my own quiet time, alloting some of my time to medidate on the Holy Bible. But then again, I fail to do this. I know its not an excuse but Im really trying..;(...

Learning new things...I hope i can still have more time to learn many things, to explore new heights....

This is the only time I've got so might as well spend it wisely and enjoy every moment of it while it lasts.

Singing for fun

2010-01-31T14:56:00.005+08:00

Im really hooked up by the korean drama, You're beautiful. Aside from having a nice story, they also have a nice soundtrack. So i decided to record one song. lol. Though i know its not that good but just for fun.

The title of the other song is without words which is originally sung by. Park Shin Hye.
English TRanslation
Withourd Words

I should have done that
I should have ignored it
like something i couldn't see
I shouldn't have looked at you at all
I should have run away
I hould have acted like i didn't hear it
like something I couldn't hear.
I shouldn't have listened to love at all

Without a word , you let me know love
Without a word, you give me love
You made me even hold your breath but you ran away like this
Without a word, love leaves me
Without a word, love tossed me away
what should I say next?
my closed lips were surprised on their own
coming without any words

Why does it hurts so much?
Why does it hurts continuously ?
Except for the fact that i can't see you anymore
And that you are not here anymore
Otherwise, it's the same as before.

Without a word , you let me know love
Without a word, you give me love
You made me even hold of your breath but you ran away like this
Without a word, love leaves me
Without a word, love tossed me away
What should I say next?
My closed lips were surprised on their own
Without a word, tears fall
Without a word, my heart breaks down.

Without a word, i waited for love
Without a word, love hurts me
I zoned out. I become a fool because I cry looking at the sky
Without a word, firewell finds me
Without a word, the end comes to me
I think my heart was surprised to send you away without any preperations
It came without a word.

Without a word, it comes and leaves
Like the fever before
Maybe all I need to do is endure the hurt for a while
Because in the end, only scars are left.

Friendship Revisited

2010-01-27T22:53:00.008+08:00

Busy schedules. Different priorities. Changing life outlook and perspective. These are just some of the changes that I observe not only in my personal life but also with my circle of friends. It is very rare to find people whom you can trust with your life, a group of people who are really close to you and know you in and out.

We all undergo changes and transitions in life. Sometimes its hard to admit that we're no longer the same people we used to be before. Now we're much more matured and wiser.

But Im glad my friendship with these people has transcended every dimension of challenges and trials. I couldnt be happier seeing them once again; share with them the latest news about me, my life especially my lovelife wahaha (though there is really no significant thing to share lol).

The way we laugh on things, the way we reminisce moments, the way we joke with one another, its still the same. They are still the people whom I cherish and I love.Though we're not complete at least we still spent a memorable time together...

You're Beautiful

2010-01-24T20:42:00.006+08:00

Whoah. Its been a very long time since I watched a koreanovela. Well for the simple reason that I only get to have a DVD marathon when Im stressed out; either I want to escape or even I dont want to admit; its whenever I feel hopeless romantic...wahaha

This drama series is surely a good way to make you fall in love all over again hehe.. Aside from the fact that the main actor is really cute haha (not to mention that Im one of the girls wooing for him) and the main actress is also very lovable. Jang Geun Suk's character is very much different from the usual. Due to his bad and unfortunate childhood experience with his mother, he has lived a life full of hatred and has shunned away to real happiness. That is until he meets Park Shin Hye, a nun who disguised herself a guy to replace his brother as part of ANJELL, a famous rock boyband.

Love really comes when you really expect it. The main actress in thw pursuit to temporarily replace his injured brother to achieve his dreams of being a singer suddenly and unexpectedly fell in love with the peculiar personality of Jang Geun Suk. And just like any other love stories, she had to endure and to hide what she really felt for Jang Geun Suk.

This koreanovela is not only very funny but it also can capture the romantic emotions of the people watching it.

Once is enough!!!

2010-01-18T21:53:00.006+08:00

I really hate people who are liars, liars and liars. Not that Im coming clean by saying that I havent lied all my life. Of course, I did but not up to the point where I have to use all these lies to deceive and to play with other people's emotions and feelings. Yeah, sometimes I admit I also lie, white lies they usually categorize it. Though im not justifying any position, I know a lie whether its a small or big thing is still a lie.

Now I feel bad because I allowed myself to be vulnerable again. But not anymore, Im getting wiser and these jackass guys (not to mention i want to kick their asses lol) are definitely a big no no for me. Though im not saying that all guys are like that.hhahaha

Hay..instead of thinking these kind of people, I might as well sleep...

Ciao.

Celebrity Collage -isang malaking joke lol

2010-01-17T00:59:00.006+08:00

MyHeritage: Celebrity Morph - Family history - Family photos

Who then is the right choice?

2010-01-12T21:20:00.008+08:00

Increase the number of college graduates, enhance infrastructure, improve ecnomic situation, lessen incidence of hunger, eradicate poverty, transparency, good governance...

I couldnt enumerate all the socio-political and ecnomic issues that are prevalent today. And I couldnt elaborate further how politicians seem to use all these crucial issues for their own advancement. For the past many years, our country has witnessed the transition of countries we thought couldnt overtake us, Vietnam, Thailand and I am not surprised with this saddening and disillusioning fact. Everyday we are bombarded with faces of politicians involved in a seemingly endless debate on a lot of issues only leaving these issues hanging. We are also not new to results of surveys stating that Philippines is one of the most corrupt countries, a country having the highest figure in terms of poverty incidence and people who have nothing to eat. 4 Million! That's a very staggering figure, a very alarming one.
But still what we get are all cynical promises, a promise of a better future, a promise for a better nation?

On May 10, 2010, the judgement of the Filipino people will once again be put into test. For once every 6 years, the Sovereign Filipino people have the power to alter the course of history, to swing the present course of events. But the question is who should the people vote?Who is the right choice?

Last weekend when i bought the newspaper, Businessworld, I came across an article. I couldnt remember the title but i could vividly remember the message of the article. Our country needs a servant leader not just an ordinary servant leader, but a leader who has a character of servitude, a passion to serve not the interests of the elite few but of the masses, an unwavering faith to do what is right and have love not for oneself but for the whole nation.

We dont need someone who are good at making promises. Neither do we need someone who has the best of qualifications or someone who has the highest intellect among all. We dont need someone who is charismatic. We need a servant leader. A leader who knows how to listen to the grievances of which the majority are the people who live under harsh conditions one could ever imagine. But A servant leader for whom? A leader serving the interests and fighting for the welfare of the Filipino people. What welfare and issues are at stake?

The right to have education, the right to equality in terms of opportunities, the right to attain justice, the right to have a good life and possess all the necessities and basic needs, the right to have a good government and effective leader, to name just a few.

What we want to see is a leader, who would fight for the welfare of the farmers, someone who would attend to the sufferings of the Filipino workers, someone who would educate people and not alienate them, a leader who can change the political landscape, someone who would fight for truth, honesty, equality, good and transparent governance.

Of course some would claim that these qualities are hard to look for in a politician. It is even deemed next to impossible. But if we wont set the standards, if we dont know what qualities a leader we are looking for should have, then we are just voting to merely replace the old leaders with the new ones. No change, same old, rotten system.

Though it is difficult to set the qualities a leader should posess, for as long as the people know what kind of leader they need to have then that's the only time the true essence of election will be realized.

.

A year that was....2009

2010-01-03T18:26:00.004+08:00

2009 was a year of mixed emotions and experiences for me. I laughed,I cried but most importantly I learned. The purpose I have in mind while writing this blog is to just look back on the memorable events that happened and look forward to a much brighter year ahead - 2010. I got this from the list of my status from facebook...hehe

It takes patience....

2009-12-24T01:12:00.010+08:00

It was one sunny sunday when I went out on my own just to have a walk. I enjoy my life, my work but sometimes whenever I think of all my worries in all aspects of my life:financial, emotional and even my love life lol it makes crazy just thinking of it.

I was walking inside the bookstore when I came across the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"...Hmm..The title itself is intriguing for me. Not that there is something unusual with the title. I remember the other book that I bought a few months back, A Quest for Love by Elizabeth Elliot. Its one of the good and inspirational books I know that relates well to all people especially to singles.

Almost everyday, we are in search of something, someone who can make us complete. Its as if every place we go, every person we meet is a candidate for Ms. Right, Mr. Right. Hard as it may seem for us to admit but the world we live in is indeed a very dangerous place to be and love is one of the difficult games people play. In same way as saying that finding the right person is one the most difficult things to do especially when some people already think its next to impossible.

But just like what Elliot tried to point out in her book. We don't have to be preys in the world of predators. We dont have to keep looking, searching and waiting. The more we force something to happen the more we fall into a dangerous pit.

I myself agree that we should just wait for that someone whom God knows who, to come into our lives. Just like the funny saying, you dont have to kiss a bunch of losers just to get the right one. AS for now, I will focus in improving my self, focus on self-growth because I know at God's best reason, right time and place we will meet.

When the right one comes, I know its something that is heavenly blessed, something that is based on true love and respect, something endless and true.

Bicolandia

2009-11-30T21:47:00.021+08:00

It was a bit late when we left Manila at around 8:30 pm. Whew... I couldnt imagine the traffic. Past nine in the evening we were set for the trip to one of the nicest destination. Hmm.. not to mention that we travelled by land lol not that im complaining but seriously when you are stuck in the car for how many hours, i dont know how else to be comfortable...But i guess its one of the most memorable trips ever..

STOPOVER. We had lots of that haha..I think I couldnt count how many gas stations. But aside from going to the comfort room, stopovers can also be a good place to relax and have some short talk while drinking..a cup of coffee...

ACCOMODATION. When you're out on a trip one question will always pop out of your mind. Where will I stay? Well some are worried because of budget constraints but sine in my case its free any place will do. But I never thought of staying in a very cozy hotel. We stayed in Hotel Venezia based on my assessment one of the nicest hotel I've been to. Its small but very cozy and comfortable.

FOOD. Whenever I go somewhere, its definitely a must for me to try to eat local dishes that are famous in that particular place. Im a bit disappointed with the laing ang bicol express but at least the last restaurant with local bicolano dishes we visited gave me a high utility...

LANDSACPE. Indeed, Bicol is a God-given place. Nature filled province, perfect shaped volcano, kind people,and a lush green surrounding wow... Id love to come back here once in a while...Its nice to take pictures especially when your on top.

PEOPLE. Lastly, I wouldnt forget the people who were with me during the trip.Though its a bit difficult but we enjoyed the road trip a lot...

And right now im planning to have my next trip..hehehe

I don't want you to go

2009-11-15T17:01:00.000+08:00

Never Lose FAith

2009-09-27T21:48:00.003+08:00
James 1:2-4
Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

I guess all of us will come to a certain point where will we lose our faith in a person. Most often than not we sometimes end up realizing that we really dont know the person after all. The saddening fact is that you'll never know when a pretending good person turns into a deceitful asshole..hehehe..

My choice of words are becoming a bit harsh. But I guess thats a good way for me to hail out my sentiments, at least im not the type who mentions specific names...haha Thats more frightening..

Amidst all of these things, I was able to have the opportunity to learn much more. Despite the fact that we can sometimes lose our faith in faithless people, we can always turn into someone who will never falter, and that is - God, Jesus Christ our Saviour.

In a world full of people who can deceive and hurt you, there is one guarantee that in His arms you are safe. So matter how many times you've been fooled or hurt and no matter how many instances you thought you have lost faith, just think of God and his endless and immeasureable love for us.

say it again

2009-09-21T14:06:00.002+08:00

Things to be thankful for...

2009-08-28T19:57:00.004+08:00

When a door closes, a window opens...

It might sound like an old cliche but its one of those usual sayings that makes sense.

When you feel like you're carrying the burden of the whole world, God will really find a way to give you hope.

For the past few months, I've been getting restless since after graduation I for once in my life didnt know where to go. Yes, I was confused and had no idea what i really want in life. I guess its what they call the post-graduation-you-are-unemployed syndrome haha..lol

For many months I together with some of my friends were in search of a job. Some of them actually got the jobs easily and so we were left behind. Wrong decisions will always be part of the game. Unfortunately, I was a victim. I used to have a job offer but i turned it down for some stupid reason, I myself would want to keep hahaha

As days pass by, I can feel that Im getting loathsome not only in finding a job but in general, my whole life. At the lowest point of my life, God gave a way for me to revive myself once again.

And now, as I start to build the stepping stones of my career. Yes, I am up for the challenge I've been through a lot already and I know with the help of God, I can do anything...everything...

Random Thoughts

2009-08-25T11:02:00.003+08:00
At this point of my life, I've realized that there are still many things to do, to accomplish, to learn...Yeah, i still have a very long way to go..

Though in many years of my existence here on earth, even until now I cant really say that I have achieved something great. I have finished schooling, yes it can be one of those achievements but its just a small part of what I want to achieve in life...

My friends would often say that we are all not getting any younger..Probably they are right, in same way as all of us are already starting to build the foundation of our dreams...

What do we want to do many years from now?Where do we want to go?Whom do we want to spend our lives with? THhese are but just some of the endless questions that we contemplate...

hmm...What do i want to do? I'm a person with high hopes and dreams in life. I dont limit myself to what is available, existing; I like exploring new heights, reach a much higher place or even delve into the impossible. I enjoy learning new things. The usual routine ways of doing something would bore me to hell..haha..

Where do I want to go?Hmm... Defnitely I have always wanted to be in a happy, stable and comfortable place, it would cover all of the aspect of my life my spiritual, financial,emotional and even physical aspects.

The last question..haha which I personally think is a bit difficult one...Aside from family, of course all of us would want to be with the person of whom we could spean our lifetime with. I guess its still too early, I'm still very young to actually consider these matters..haha But eventually we will reach there...

I miss writing blogs...This is sure one way for me to open up my thoughts once again..hehe....

2009-06-25T15:21:00.002+08:00

Clouded Mind

2009-05-05T00:48:00.006+08:00
Tossing and turning around the bed... staring endlessly into the wilderness of the vast invisible space..sighing and panting as my thoughts start to drown me... Yeah,those are the scenarios of me at night..And I guess those observances only lead me to conclude..that there is something that is bothering me, something that is beyond the usual, beyond the ordinary.

I've never let my emotions and my negative thoughts to drain me. But this one is way much different. I feel like every action I will choose to take and every words I will utter would result to different outcomes i am not sure whether would like or not.

Stupid that I am even contemplating these questions and these matters of the heart when in fact I allowed myself to be vulnerable in the first place. Sometimes I am thinking if I can risk something, if i can risk my heart- unguarded, defenseless will I find the one I am looking for? There goes the circular and never ending question again...Taking risks doesn't guarantee that you will get what you want neither revealing your soft spot shows that you are weak.

I guess too much fear is just clouding my mind. What continues to bother me is the questions that I myself can't even answer, answers i will find as events unfold. Early as it may appear to anticipate whatever thing that might happen but it's worth a try, it's worth the risk. After all its my faith that would save me in the end. So I am going for something that makes me happy... let alone God do whatever he thinks whats best for me...

2009-04-22T01:10:00.002+08:00

My Favorite Verse

2009-04-10T13:31:00.001+08:00

Indifferent...

2009-04-02T21:11:00.002+08:00
I passed my business law subject and my economic history subject. I've been praying for those two subjects for the past few days. Plus, I was also able to finish my thesis and accomplished my clearance forms.Its almost over and done. April 25 is the day I've been waiting for...

I should be super happy...After all, my hardwork finally pays off... But why do i feel like Im indifferent?

haha..yeah right...now im starting to apply some economics concept here..lol...

Probably because I am worrying about what will happen next after graduation...
The real world awaits after april 25...

But either way I know God is there to strengthen me...

AJA!

Celebrity Morph by MyHeritage

2009-04-02T00:16:00.001+08:00

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celeb

Things to be thankful for...

2009-03-17T15:25:00.005+08:00
For the past days, weeks and months, Ive busied myself in finishing and accomplishing all these paper and research works. Finally just yesterday, exactly before noon striked(I'm lucky I was able to use this as advantage lol..not much professors were around), I was able to finish my thesis defense...

Yeeeeeyyyyy..haha..I want to scream...I want to jump...I guess Im just too overwhelmed by the fact that after all those endless and sleepless nights I allotted in doing my thesis.. Alas, I was able to defend it...Though up until now its still a puzzle for me as to how I was able to defend it lol....

God is really good...He is really my Saviour... And with that, I couldnt be thankful enough not only to Him but also to people who made my thesis possible...my family, my relatives, my bestfriends, my friends and all those people who have prayed for me...

DOMO ARIGATO GOZAIMASU!!!

XIE XIE!

Random Thoughts

2009-01-09T11:02:00.002+08:00

I dont remember vividly the last time ive ever felt like i needed something...someone..

That special someone...

Though in my wild days of existence ive been in constant search for the sole thing all us have been wanting...-happiness.

Seeing many different faces, wandering in boisterous and in mute places,
i cant even seem to have a glimpse of that one radiant face that could
simply make me smile for no reason at all...and just feel the joy that
thank God im alive...

Past events that transpired might have changed my perception on some things...

But just keenly observing from afar,it just occurred to my thoughts...that all of us have the right to find that person who can ease out just about everything with one look...

At this point in time, i guess, patience would pay-off..You dont have to kiss a bunch of losers just to get the right one..

So for now, I'm gonna do my thing..and be happy...

Coz somewhere...fate would decree that i would meet finally meet him..hehehe

When that time comes, I wont let go...

A Time For Us

2008-12-13T13:10:00.005+08:00
It was one boring-humid afternoon when I decided to go out and ask my friends to just hang around the campus. Cant believe I'm too complacent leaving my work behind and go outside when in fact my thesis is almost doomed. But anyway, I need rest. I need to walk. I need to feel.

So we walked until we reached the DL UMali Hall where there was an open exhibit. And since there were no other places we could visit, we just went in to see the exhibit. It's genuine work of a virtuoso indeed. I forgot the name of the artist..lol

I don't know but somehow while looking at the display materials, I knew that almost everything in there was all about love.

A Rose has its thorns too...

I dont know if this holds true. But from what I have observed almost anyone of us are hoping to find that special one who will fit in to our ideals, our standards. Sometimes, even when we deny it, those standards are too perfect to attain. Isnt it much better to find someone and then you'll help that person bring out the best in him? Try to accept that though hes imperfect, he's for real by just being simply him.

Honesty..is all we ever need...

Sad to know but its true that some of us especially those people who are in love, fail to see evrything. Sometimes we draw away from reality allowing us to see the superficial things. And worst is that even though we know deep inside that they are fooling us, we tend to disregard it and even to deny it. But isnt it much better to have a love who does not dwell in wrong doings but in honesty, in truth?...

my song

2008-12-10T11:23:00.001+08:00
me_singing_say_it_again_by.wav

I'll wait...

2008-12-06T00:59:00.004+08:00
"Great thing come to those who wait..."

This line might sound simple yet striking. Yes, its easy to say that you can wait but we all know its not. Eventually, I realize if you want something to last, if you want to have the best you must learn how to wait; wait for the right time where God will reveal everything to you.

"Just like the flow of the river in a cold dark night...I will wait
The stars are shining so bright in the vast, endless sky...I will wait
Huge buildings symbolize my patience in everything i do...
But even the lights of these towers went out..I'll still wait for you..."

P.S.(whoah..its been such a long time since the last time i was able to compose a poem...I dont know why i put that picture hehe..they call it the love river...such an amazing view to look at...)

Its better not to expect...

2008-11-26T00:30:00.006+08:00
Before I always say, "expect the unexpected" but now id rather say.."don't expect at all" Its so hard especially if you are expecting too much on things, on people and even on fate that you end up being hurt and wounded the most. Now Im getting a clearer picture as to why some people are just the happy-go-lucky-just-go-with-the-flow type.I considered them naive before, because they dont take things too seriously.

But now I'm seeing them in a different light. Though I'm not also definitive in saying that we should not be serious at all. What I have just realized is that maybe, they are like that because they want to protect themselves. THey want to safeguard their minds and especially their emotions that will surely suffer if things comes to worst.

And I guess this is what applies to my current situation right now. No expectations. I just do what I have to do. At least when you're not expecting, if at the end you didnt get what you want, you have saved yourself or to be specific your pride. Once in a while you have to save your pride too coz its also bad if u cant even save even ur face from any mess you could possibly be situated in.

Just like what my economics professor in economics would say.."You only have two choices its either you are risk averse in investing , you risk in able to gain. " And i say.I cant believe finance economics can be directly applied to real life...hahaha...

So from now on, I wont expect anything..Coz hopes and expectations are different, in my own opinion.I admit I risk everything before without thinking a millions times first, so now I think ill be a risk averse one.hehehe

Never Quit...

2008-11-07T17:29:00.005+08:00

Yeah..It does sound like an old cliche.. Plus the fact that even though we often tell ourselves that line to remind us that we should hold on and be strong, sometimes it just wouldnt work. And worst sometimes, one feels likes its not gonna work.

But there are moments in our lives when we just cant simple say, "I quit.", becuase if you do then it will all be over.

Like in my case, I feel tired, weak and i feel like my energy is in its all time low. There's a part of me who wants to give up already and my i-dont-care-anymore attitude starts to surface. Now, I am definitely suffering from the so called academic-stress-you-have-to-graduate-on-time sickness. I'm lucky i dont feel any pressure from my parents. But as for myself, I dont know why 'm killing myself just to work on my thesis...Since I want to graduate, I have to do it.

God is there to help me. I know he will never let me down.

I just need to endure the last quarter of the race and I would do anything to finish it. So never ever quit!

A message for a very special friend...

2008-11-03T16:18:00.001+08:00
Dreams…This is the only venue where I can see you again, laugh with you just like the old times…the way we used to… Its’ been almost a year… Are you happy there? I hope so… Many things have already changed and events have passed. But our yearning to be with you again hasn’t changed and will never change.

Yesterday night, I dreamt of you together with our other bearians… When I woke up it made me think, this was the only time you visited me again in my dreams…I hope you are not scaring me..hehehe..

In my dreams, we were all in a graduation pictorial… and you were wearing a white dress. I don’t know what it meant but for sure you want to send some important message not only for me but to other bearians as well.

At least even in dreams…we can be with you…We can feel some sense of reality though we know that when we woke up and open our eyes, we just have to face the truth that you’re really gone.

I love you so much and BC4f loves you so much too. We pray for your soul and I know you are happy with God now...

Let me think...

2008-10-31T23:18:00.011+08:00
It was a hazy morning and as usual when I woke up from the bed, I hastily searched for my phone..Ooopp..almost 50 SMS messages for that morning...Luckily, i have enough time more than enough should i say to read those messages. One of the messages that stunned me for a moment was the one sent by one of my bearians...

"If he/she doesnt even afraid to lose you, do you think it is still worthwhile to stay???" I was about to return to sleep but when i read that message, it made me think. Is it really worthwhile to stay and wait if you know that the person you really love isnt even afraid to lose you? Well seriously, thats also one of the questions I've been wanting to answer but I just cant seem to find it.

Coz first, if you really love the person, it doesnt really matter if he/she has fears of losing you. What matters is that person loves you.

There are a lot of people who are willing to give much more up to the point they have nothing left for themselves.

Another thing is...uhm..Im jsut thinking...How would one know if indeed that person isnt afraid to lose you. Maybe he/she isnt just showing it but deep inside that person is too afraid to lose you.

The song I like for this month

2008-10-27T16:03:00.005+08:00
The song flavor of life which was recorded by Utada Hikaru is one of my favorite songs; not just becuase its one of the main OST of my favorite japanese drama hana yori dango but for the sole reason that I get goosebumps whenever I hear this song. I like the song personally becuase I can relate to it hehehe. And if i'm going to evaluate the technical aspects as to how that song sounds to me, it is just very well arranged and the lyrics comes straight to anyonelses's heart.

宇多田ヒカル Flavor of Life by Utada Hikaru

English Translation

Whenever you tell me thank you
It's somehow bittersweet
The spell doesn't break after you say goodbye
Faintly bitter
The flavor of life

We're in the middle, neither friends nor lovers
Green fruit dreaming of the harvest

We can't take that one last step
So it's so irritating or something, baby

Whenever you tell me thank you
It's somehow bittersweet
The spell doesn't break after goodbye
Faintly bitter
The flavor of life

Sweet words of seduction
Flavorless talk
That doesn't pique my interest

Even when things don't go your way
Life's not a total wash

"What's up?" you suddenly ask
No, it's nothing
My smile disappears after you say goodbye
It's not like me

The more I want to believe
It's somehow bittersweet
Don't you think "I really like you"
Suits you better than "I love you"?
The flavor of life

I suddenly remember
The scent of a person I'd almost forgotten
I want to be able to just sit back and enjoy
The white snow fall

I want a warm future
Softer than a diamond
I want to spend this limited time we have with you

Whenever you tell me thank you
It's somehow bittersweet
The spell doesn't break after you say goodbye
Faintly bitter
The flavor of life...

Translation by Megchan

Whaat as in whaaatt?LOL

2008-10-27T00:04:00.009+08:00
I was watching the morning talk show Boy and Kris just last week when Kris Aquino asked Chritine Reyes regarding her crush and she said. "Robert Pengson... the chef...pero he's getting married na ata..."

After hearing that one, I was like, What???? Chef Robert, my long-time super crush chef is getting married?..hehe..lol...I know I was overreacting and even my mom agreed to it..hehe..It's just a crush anyway. Actually, at first I dont know who this Chef Rob all these girls are talking about. One of my friends, who happens to have a crush on him too told me to watch a cooking show on QTV 11, Chef to go. Since I love eating and anything that has something to do with food interests me, I watched the show (though I don't know how to cook lol). Thats the time when I saw the chef cooking the dish, I was stunned ahahaha...a oh-mylicious hunk chef ...So from that time, my friend and I are hooked with this chef hehe...

I thought he was single...I was assuming...hehe..as if I have the chance..lol..It was only that time I realized.."With his charming smile and his connoisseur in cooking,he can't be single. Of course he'll get married sooner or later, many women will die just to hear him say I do.." No doubt,Chef Robert is one of the hottest bachelors in town.

But while searching the net..ahaha..I found out he got married already... Well I'm happy that the girl from the Tropicana commercial who happens to be a chef too was the lucky girl. Wow, imagine the two of them Sunshine Puey and Rob are both chefs. For sure they'll cook the best foods they could prepare for the family they will be having in the future.

But nothing wont change. I still admire Chef Rob and I'm looking for a hot chef in the future to be my husband..kidding..!ahaha

Realizations...

2008-10-25T17:40:00.001+08:00
Wohoo...at least after having my so called short-trip-fantastic-thesis-free vacation..now I can finally relax before working again...lol...During that short span of time, I've realized many things.

First, I'll just focus on my studies and finish my thesis. That's my primary goal as for the moment so that I can graduate on time.

Second, forget about my ever-funny-turned-tragic-lovelife lol..I can enjoy my single life and im happy to be back to our organization the YES TO SINGLE LIFE org..where my bestfriend is the current president..ahaha..

Third, I won't ever allow anyone or something to make me feel bad and sad. Well, thesis is there and I tell you just by hearing that word I feel bad already..But I'll try to look on the brighter side and just be happy no matter what.

Fourth, I'll give myself the time to pratice with my guitar. Because I've been busy for the past months, I almost failed to practise and my guitar skill isnt improving that much..tsk tsk...

Lastly, I want to enjoy my semestral break while at the same time doing my thesis. I know those two things are contradictory but still I'll try..ahaha

The Chorale

2008-10-24T22:34:00.001+08:00
"I love you baby if its quite alright. I need you baby to warm my lonely nights. i love you baby, trust in me when I say..."

For almost one month, we've been practising that line in preparation for the chorale competition CEMPLANGAN 08. It wasn't easy. Yeah who would say singing is just as easy as one thinks. Well if it's just an ordinary performance we'll I bet my brods and sisses can pull it off without practice. But that one was a competition and the name of the organization was at stake.

For many days, we've been going home late just to have our rehearsals. And to be honest, even up to the last minute we admitted that the the song wasn't that good enough. But just as what evreyone says, "The show must go on."

And so the day we've been finally waiting for arrived. Many people went to watch not only the chorale competition but the major competition as well. I don't know but that time I was just feeling so nervous. The most unfortunate turn of events happened at the spur of the moment when one of alto members, which happened to be the best in the group, got sick. I was like, "What will happen to us now?" Now, some of the members had to depend on me. What if I screw up...Geez.. Someone help me pleaseeeee!

What made me feel nervous even more was that the first batch of contestants were fantastic. My gosh, "What am I going to do now?" That line became my favorite line for the night.

Before setting my foot on the stage, I prayed and I gave a deep sigh. "Whatever happens we just have to do what we have to do." The lights were still off and finally when we sung the first line, our friends, family, and supporters were cheering so loudly. That time I realized, the song wasnt that bad at all...hehehe...

It was much better than what we've expected. Plus, we had a big audience impact..lol....When the song ended, we received thundering applauses...hehe..I'm not exagerrating or something. Maybe its also because our friends and families maximized evrything they have to give the loudest cheer as possible.

In the end, we still won though not the first prize but still we won..hehehe..

Back on Track...

2008-10-21T20:57:00.001+08:00
YEAH!After so many months of being inactive in the blogging world... I am finally back... Well as of now..I'm not feeling good again...I am still sick...but staying on the bed for a whole day will just make me feel a lot worst...

Hahaha..This is funny and ironic but imagine for the whole semester when I was doing tons of work with no sleep at all, without the much needed appetite to eat and with all the pressure and stress I could possibly get, I didnt get sick like the one I'm feeling right now. Maybe because before even I was feeling bad I still need to go to school;i have no choice.

With my thesis causing me such a big pain in the head, I know I was more sick that what I had thought. Anyway, speaking of thesis, I have already submitted my thesis proposal signsheet and after that one, I will be having my 3 day vacation somewhere far... I think i'll have to go to the mountains...hahaha...Seriously, I am really going there... I need to unwind, ponder on things, reflect on previous events that happened and forget all the bad things that I had encountered.

Hahaha..Im thinking...when will I be able to post something here when I will be away for a couple of days...

But still...Im glad...I'm back on track...

Movies I Enjoy Watching...

2008-08-31T23:49:00.000+08:00

2008-08-16T01:20:00.001+08:00
Take It While It's There
It's easier said than done. Yeah, there are really people who tend to just be silent and dont show what they really feel.

Last thursday afternoon while we were having our exam in managerial economics, we were suddenly disturbed by noises outside the classroom.

Wanting to know what the commotion was all about. We all went out.

The sky was dark. I could feel the strong wind. It looked as if there's a war between the dark clouds and the white clouds. But at the spur of the moment the dark clouds started to assimilate.

At first, everyone was just curious. Thats the very first time we could actually see a tornado. But as the tornado started to build up, I felt scared. Not because i was afraid to die.

But that moment, that very moment, it just came to me. "Am i really ready to die?" When i thought of the people i love and i care about. It made me think. What will happen if I leave them behind, when i see them weeping over me? I can't endure seeing the people i love, crying and in so much pain.

That time, what if something bad really happened. I wouldnt have given the chance to say to my love ones how much i love them.

You'll really never know when life will be taken away from you. So while you still have millions of chances grab them before its too late.

Still...

2008-08-08T00:33:00.000+08:00
I'm still thankful that...
... I was still able to meet the deadline for my thesis..Although i have just passed the first chapter and to think that it only consists of 6 pages?! wahehe....

... my adviser guided me as to what Im gonna do with my thesis topic because I just happened to be so lost somewhere...

... even if i'm too tired and I have lots of problems going on inside my head...There are still people who can make me happy...To all those people..Thank you so much..You know who you are..hehehehe

... after all these gruesome activities, I am sure that I can have a short break hehe..Im looking forward to that one...

....God is still good to me though I know I have lots of shortcomings...

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give the desires of your heart... " - Psalm 27:3

TOO AFRAID

2008-08-08T00:32:00.005+08:00
Sometimes its just so hard to risk something you're not so sure of. And thats even more risky if you're in the field of love. Because there are no guides, formulas, equations that you can use to avoid faults or mistakes that could possibly happen. There are just too many questions popping out in your mind... What will happen if I do this or that? What if I end up at the loosing end again... But at the back of your mind... You probably ask questions like... Will I be happy if I give myself the chance?

In my case...how I wish Physics, Mathematics, all those subjects can save me if im on the verge of a free fall... how I wish that there is really gravity to oppose anything that might hurt me... But even trying to apply science, something that falls will surely hit the ground unless some outside force repels it... like when someone catches it... If my heart is on the verge of a free-fall...I am just thinking..What if there is no one who will catch it? What if there is no repelling force to help me... And the worst part of it..What if I end up hitting the ground...?!?